A Cup of Complicated by Rodi Chadish

Author:Rodi Chadish [Chadish, Rodi]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: UNKNOWN
Published: 2017-08-25T18:30:00+00:00

sixteen

Elliot

Three months had gone by. I didn’t see her at Starbucks, I sure as hell didn’t go to Davy’s. I had however been spending a lot of time with Ethan and the rest of my family. I would never get those three years back but I was making progress. Something Ethan had said that night three months before had opened my eyes. “You get by on the bare minimum with us and now that's not enough anymore.” He was more than right. The whole time I was trying to pretend I was this whole person I’d never realized that I wasn’t that guy anymore. I had worked really hard to create this idea that I was dealing, that I had come to terms with what happened when in reality I wasn’t anywhere near it. I couldn’t deny that in all those years of pretending, I’d kept myself away from the people who would know that I was full of shit.

When I had answered her call after he had handed my ass to me I didn’t intend on breaking it off… it just kind of happened as I explained to her what I had felt that night. I came to the realization that if I couldn’t be okay with myself I was just going to keep doing the same thing to her over and over. That, I wasn’t prepared to do, I couldn’t even imagine having to see that look on her face ever again. So, I told her the truth and did what I thought was best for her. I stopped us before she could say another word because I knew that if she spoke I wouldn’t be able to go through with it. That one week was one of the best in my life, and as much as it killed me to say goodbye, I had to. I know that she’s talked to Ethan, he told me. He wouldn’t say what they talked about except that Becca had wanted her to do her maternity photos and that she was doing good. I’d asked him countless times if she asked about me, or how she was or what they talked about but he wouldn’t tell. He knew that any little information he let slip could tear me apart.

I missed her, the girl I met in a coffee shop and spent an amazing weekend with. I missed her laugh and her eyes, the way she didn’t let me get away with anything. I missed her jokes. I think I missed her more than I ever had Maegan and we’d been together for years. I’d been talking to a therapist once a week about everything, and while at first, I thought it was stupid, now I could see the differences. I’d always be a little bit angry about what happened to me, but I was learning how to deal with that. My father had suggested it after about a week of me shirking my patients at the office. “Listen, son, I’m not

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